Mumbo Jumbo self-enlightenment

I went to the Mind, Body and Spirit festival over the weekend with an open-minded companion. I have been there twice many years back to get an aura photos but my intentions were a little different this time.

As I walked through the halls, I wondered if  all of these methods, trinkets and theories weren't just a load of hogwash. Some customers were getting massages whilst the masseur made hissing sounds, some were getting "spirtiual healing" and some were getting their auras cleared. All of which involved someone performing these acts on the willing customer.

There was a free seminar about meditation so the faithful companion and I lined up. When everyone sat down, the speaker briefly takled about meditation. He said that meditation is used to think in a different way because our thoughts can be the reason for the stress we feel.
So, during meditation, instead of directing the thoughts to the thoughts that cause stress, we direct the thoughts to "no stress" (as he put it). "Ok, that's an interesting way to put it" I thought.

After that initial 2 minutes of telling us what meditation is, what does he do? Puts on their meditation CD, asking us to follow the instructions and meditate for 10 minutes. Serious??!!? I mean, the exhibition centre was packed out and it was damn noisy.

So, after the 10 minutes of quasi-meditation, the speaker gets back up and says, "If you are interested in buying the cd, bla bla bla... ". I found myself bolting out the door!

Moving onto another stall, a guy came up asking whether we had heard of this particular type of meditation. I think it was Sahaja or something. He went to explain about the chakras and how the energy can be blocked in one of the 7 points saying that to reach enlightenment, it needs to be free from the crown of the head because that's where it gets blocked.

So, what's the purpose of letting the energy go out from the crown of the head I asked. Apparently to reach enlightenment and be one with the spiritual world (or something like that). He mentioned that I should take a seat with one of the instructors and that I'd be able to reach enlightenment after 5 minutes. Oh please! As if anyone can reach enlightenment in 5 minutes. It took someone like Siddartha decades, did it not?!